Monday, April 6, 2015

Photos from today

It's been a long time since I've felt well enough to take my camera with me on a walk. I'm so thankful for this morning. I woke up feeling generally okay (compared to my normal) and so I decided to take a walk before breakfast.

Here's a few of those photos from this morning, taken in the Woodlands Cemetery.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Entryway bench

Since moving into our new home in January, our front entryway had been a gaping hole of nothingness.  Besides an ugly brown carpet, there was simply nothing there--no furniture, no place to hang your coat.  When we'd walk in the door, we'd set our grocery bags right next to our large pile of shoes on the floor.  It wasn't very welcoming and it wasn't a place that we might spend any time lingering in.  

It had been on my list of to-do's to find something fitting for this area for quite some time.  In my mind, I was picturing something like a hall tree (with a bench and coat hangers), but the more I looked at them, the less I liked that particular style for this particular spot in our home.  My idea for the furniture that I was looking for kept morphing to new ideas. For months, I'd been scouring Craigslist and local thrift shops in search of something.  

And, well, persistence pays off.  Last week, this gorgeous antique double-width school bench appeared on Craigslist and I just happened to get in contact with the seller before someone else snatched it up.  I never would have thought to look for something like this but, when it turned up online, it just seemed like the perfect piece for this little corner of our home.  Better than anything that I could have imagined.

I love the character of it--its gorgeous wood and wrought iron legs; the inkwell and pencil holder on the desk portion.  I love that it has a history (even though I don't know what that history actually is)!

There's still not a place to hang up our coats when we walk in the door, but I have a feeling that I can find a solution for that before winter comes.  Assuming something nice pops up somewhere.

And these little details, here.... my mom found the cat artwork somewhere online and printed it out for us (this is just a tiny zoomed-in portion of a much larger piece of art) and then she found a used frame and personalized it with paint!  Don't you just love the little paws?!  HEHE

And the little metal cat (it's a tea light holder) was a gift from our friend Melissa for looking in on her cat Orpheus (above) while she was on vacation a few weeks ago.  Actually, the succulent and the flowers on the other side of the desk were from Melissa too!  She spoiled us with gifts for watching her baby.  Meanwhile we were just so happy to spend a little time with a kitty each day!  It did our hearts a lot of good.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I've felt quiet.

My heart and my spirit have felt so quiet lately.  No words seem adequate for anything.  Sometimes it's an overabundance of joy that leaves me speechless.  Other times it's an overwhelming sadness.  Even contentment and comfort have kept me in a quiet place.

The longer my physical disabilities continue, the more quiet I have become.  I'm improving, overall, but the improvements are incredibly slow and sometimes wane from better to worse.  If I've learned anything through this, it's that physical disabilities can truly weigh heavily on a person's life and spill over onto their emotional and spiritual health.  Perhaps that's an obvious statement, but you truly feel the depths of it when you're dealing with chronic and life-altering issues.

I've also learned that I can't control everything myself, no matter how hard I try (and, oh, I've tried).  I had more words when I truly thought that I could control my own healing process by myself.  I've acquired many books-worth of information through reading and research and I wanted to share all of that information with others when I thought that I was the one in control.  But, truth be told, after many, many months I don't know what's helping or what's not.  I've had to adjust and readjust my course so many countless times.  I've experimented for days, weeks, months at a time and still I have no answers.  I'm tired of guessing and taking stabs (even "educated" stabs) in the dark.  I'm not giving up, but I'm done believing that I'm the one that has hold of the reins. I am certainly not in control of any of this.  My spirit feels quiet and humbled.

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word.  
Psalm 119:25

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Reflections on five years of marriage.

This Saturday will mark the fifth year of our marriage.  Words cannot express the feelings that I have about this anniversary.  On one hand, I can barely believe that we've been married this long (time seems to be passing so quickly).  On the other hand, it feels like we've been together for so much longer (it's only been five years?!).

I feel so blessed to have had Christopher by my side as my partner and my best friend.  We have grown both together and individually in many ways and I pray that we will continue to grow into the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be.  I pray that we can continue to work together, bringing each other up and loving each other as wholly as we can.

The past three years have been a very difficult road for me, physically, and these difficulties have, of course, effected our marriage in many, many ways.  At times, these challenges have taken a toll on our relationship, but more often than not, the difficulties have only brought us closer together.  I'm truly thankful for the love and patience that Christopher has displayed during these trying times.  I can only imagine what it's like to have a wife who is barely able to handle small, everyday tasks most of the time.  A wife who can't plan ahead and has to "wait and see how she's feeling that day."  A wife that doesn't look like herself because her face is red, puffy and rashy most of the time.  A wife who shudders at the smallest, unexpected touch because her nerves are so extremely hypersensitive.  Yet he remains by my side and demonstrates so much love towards me as he remains true to the vows of "in sickness and in health."

I am blessed beyond measure.