Reflections on five years of marriage.

This Saturday will mark the fifth year of our marriage.  Words cannot express the feelings that I have about this anniversary.  On one hand, I can barely believe that we've been married this long (time seems to be passing so quickly).  On the other hand, it feels like we've been together for so much longer (it's only been five years?!).

I feel so blessed to have had Christopher by my side as my partner and my best friend.  We have grown both together and individually in many ways and I pray that we will continue to grow into the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be.  I pray that we can continue to work together, bringing each other up and loving each other as wholly as we can.

The past three years have been a very difficult road for me, physically, and these difficulties have, of course, effected our marriage in many, many ways.  At times, these challenges have taken a toll on our relationship, but more often than not, the difficulties have only brought us closer together.  I'm truly thankful for the love and patience that Christopher has displayed during these trying times.  I can only imagine what it's like to have a wife who is barely able to handle small, everyday tasks most of the time.  A wife who can't plan ahead and has to "wait and see how she's feeling that day."  A wife that doesn't look like herself because her face is red, puffy and rashy most of the time.  A wife who shudders at the smallest, unexpected touch because her nerves are so extremely hypersensitive.  Yet he remains by my side and demonstrates so much love towards me as he remains true to the vows of "in sickness and in health."

I am blessed beyond measure.

taking care of me from afar.

Christopher travels a lot.  And, by a lot, I mean a lot.

Sometimes I'm really good at being home alone for extended periods of time.

Other times it's the absolute worst.

Over this past year, with all of my health issues, it's been especially difficult for me to make the effort to cook for just myself (or even for both of us, ha!).    Thankfully, he's getting really good at making sure there's things for me to eat while he's away.

He's finally getting home this evening from a "short" (1 1/2 weeks) trip.  YAYYYYY! :D

A new settee + another year here.

 

We have a nice apartment.  

It's not a big space, but it's nice.  

Technically, it's a one bedroom.  But it has some great features.  We have an "extra room" that doesn't quite qualify as a bedroom since there's no door.   Others might use it as an office, though we use it as the piano studio.  We have our own entrance in the back of the house, which makes it feel less like an apartment and more like we're just entering our own house.  We also have full use of the driveway, which is quite a rarity in the city.  High ceilings.  Hardwood...

We have it so nice yet, even so, I've been anxious to move.  

I keep saying it every year when we renew our lease "Okay, we'll renew this year, but next year we are DEFINITELY moving!"

I've been anxious for more space.  More closet space.  A separate recording studio for Christopher.   An actual guest room.  A second story...... a house.........

But we can't afford to upgrade right now.  

So instead of moving, we've resolved to make our current place not only cozier but more functional.  

Step one, was replacing an armchair that had seen better days.  That's done and I just love the replacement we found--it's the plum settee.

Step two, is to better utilize the wall space in our bathroom & bedroom.  More shelving & organizers. And no more stacks or piles of mail on the desk.

Step three is the hardest.  To make peace with this small space again.  To learn to love it.  It would certainly be nice to have more space, but for now I'm going to concentrate on how being in a smaller space can bring our little family closer together.  I just want to make the best of what we have.  To make what-we-have work for us.

Having a bigger place will be nice someday, God willing.  But my hopes don't have to rest in it.  

I think I'm finally learning not to say "we're DEFINITELY moving next year!"

For now, we should consider ourselves fortunate.  We have a place that feels even more like a home than it did nearly 4 years ago when we first married our lives together.  Here's to another year.  

And however many more.  

fun with Love Calculator.

According to Dr. Love, Christopher & I had an 11% chance of having a successful relationship before we got married.  Luckily, changing my name had an huge impact on our percentages!

Phew! What a relief!

summer LOVE.

A few weeks ago, Christopher & I marked our third wedding anniversary.  In celebration, we took our first vacation together since our honeymoon and, I must say, the timing of this little "holiday" was a Godsend.

It was much-needed.

This summer has been a time of growth for Christopher & I, both individually and together.  After three years, we've become all-too-aware of our own shortcomings and downfalls, and we've been seeing it within each other as well (marriage's "mirror effect", shall we say).  Instead of running from difficulties, we've been facing them and working through the discomforts.  Individually, together, with family, friends and the church.

We've been learning that marriage isn't easy and it isn't always fun, but it's rewards can be great.  (Though you hear it all the time and--by intuition--you know it's true, it takes a while for it's truth to settle in and become real).

Instead of focusing on and allowing ourselves to become bewildered by the most recent failed marriages that we've witnessed, we're looking towards those strong and God-centered examples of marriage that have surrounded us for our entire lives--our parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, the Chappell's, the Figleys....

We're banishing our pride (which was telling us "we can figure this marriage thing out all by ourselves") and instead we're reading books and renewing our faith.

I am so thankful to have Christopher by my side as my husband and my closest friend.   Neither of us are perfect--far from it, in fact--but together, we can learn.  Together, we can help each other become the people that we should be.  The people that God wants us to be.