just a photo.

This photo was taken way back in the summer.  With the current weather the way it is, it seems like the summer existed in another world.  A bright, sizzling world where everything felt like it was melting.

This wall is just one of those walls that I happen to walk by nearly everyday.  It's just a normal wall.  I'd never paid much attention to it, really, until one day, I turned my head a little bit to the left and there he was, this little angel guy looking back at me.  A small, grumpy little angel guy drawn in white.

He said something to me that day.  Well, he really didn't "say" anything at all.  He just struck me as something special, that's all.  A symbol of humanity, perhaps?  I can't really say what made him seem so noteworthy at the time.

The following afternoon when I walked by on my way to the trolley,  I was expecting to look over and see him once again.  I was even looking forward to exchanging hellos with this new little friend that I had made.  But, sadly, he wasn't there anymore.  Sometime between one day & the next, someone had covered him with a red block of fresh paint.  He was hidden.  Permanently.

Who knows how long he had been there painted on that wall.  But I just happened to meet him on his last daylight appearance.  His final day.  Seems significant.  Who knows, I might be the last person on earth who has any recollection of him.

Nowadays, when I remember, I'll sometimes look over at that wall still expecting to see him in all his glory, just like I saw him that one day.  I know he's still there.  He's just hiding behind .002 inches of red paint.

Silly, I know.  But it's true.

fun with Love Calculator.

According to Dr. Love, Christopher & I had an 11% chance of having a successful relationship before we got married.  Luckily, changing my name had an huge impact on our percentages!

Phew! What a relief!

life with kitty.

Since bringing Sneaker back home (the other two kitties are still in Pittsburgh), she's been like a little shadow--always following one of us around.  Now that Christopher's on tour with the band, I'm never alone....

...on the couch.

...on the floor.

...on the chair.

on the settee.

...in the bathroom.

She's even in the art.

I'm not complaining though.  I'd never complain about this!

a dress for the future.

My mom bought this cute little cotton dress for me a few months ago.
Since my skin's been so bad, I haven't been able to wear it yet.
Somedays, it feels like I'll never be able to look cute again.
But most days--if I'm being positive--I feel like I'm getting closer and closer.

Believe me, a girl has got to have something to look forward to while going through this nightmare!

looking forward to......

 

Some things that I'm looking forward to doing once my skin clears up......

• My first cup of coffee (preferably a macchiato) after months of withdrawal
• Taking a long, brisk walk around West Philly with Christopher
• Rearranging/cleaning our bedroom!
• Sinking my teeth into a thick, juicy burger (and perhaps some pommes frites)
• Buying a cute outfit from Anthropologie (or anywhere, really)
• Going out to a nice dinner
• A trip to the Jersey Shore
• Going to hear a chamber concert/orchestra concert/Ars Nova concert
• Going to the Met (to hear Danielle perform?!)
• Going to Kennywood (okay, this will have wait until next summer anyway)
• Eating popcorn!
• Practicing piano again!
• Getting a new pair of glasses (or just new lenses)
• Rubbing my face in my kitties fur!!!!!

alone in the magic gardens.

I had some alone time in the Magic Gardens this past weekend.  

Wish I would've brought a book and a hammock with me.  

And a pot of coffee.

Or maybe I'm just wishing that this was my backyard?

gifts coming together.

This past Saturday was my piano studio's year-end recital.  It was such a wonderful day and I'm so proud of all of my students.  The morning of the recital, our neighbor Danielle knocked on the door and brought in a bouquet of flowers that she had picked from her garden, specifically for us to display at the recital.  It was such a beautiful bouquet and an even more beautiful gesture.  There were a few little sprigs of lilies that were too short for the vase, so we stuck them in a mug and they're finally opening up today!

What I love about this picture is how nearly everything pictured is a gift from someone special.  The flowers from Danielle.  The mug was a wedding shower gift from my Aunt Di.  The Lumberjack Bookmark was made by my cousin Jon (& was gifted to Christopher).  The blue/green fabric napkin was from my mom-in-law.  The yellow frame, I actually bought from a thrift store many years ago, but the red matte was a "gift" from my mom!  That covers just about everything!

I wonder how many corners of our apartment or how many corners of our souls come together from/through the "gifts" of others.

This is the day the Lord hath made.

Sometimes you see art without really looking at it.  We've passed by this wall many times, and although we had appreciated it from afar, we never got close enough to read it.  The wall itself never changed but our perception of it certainly has.

four clovers.

{but no four leafers}

Just thinking about how lucky I am.

Christopher's finally home from his 5 week stint on the road.

The alone time was much-needed, but the timing of his arrival was just right.

It feels so refreshing to have him with me again.

ignored.

Tonight I'm sitting here going through old photos on our computer.  At first I was searching for old photos of "us" from when we first got married and moved in together.  Realizing that those photos were transferred onto disk (and who knows where that disk is...), I began looking through the "reject pile" of photos.  If I were to be honest, I would say that about 80% of our photos are shots that I've taken over the past few years that I am too embarrassed to show anybody.  "Failed attempts at art," you might say.  But that's fine, I guess.

What hit me tonight was how much I remember about every shot that I've taken.  How much every image reminds me of exactly what I was thinking when I took it.

I remember this shot very well.  It was two years ago and it was my first day with this particular camera.  My mom had just bought it used from a co-worker of hers named Larry, and my parents were in town visiting for the weekend.  It was a hot summer day.  Blazing, in fact.  You know, one of those days that makes you want to tear your skin off, it's so hot.  It must have been nearing "trash day", because the air smelled of hot, smelly garbage.

Anyway, we were walking around Philadelphia taking our own "Mural Arts" tour.  We were too cheap to pay the $20/person for an official tour, so we found a map online and followed it.  During our walk, we stopped at this convenient store for some water and perhaps a bathroom break.  As we were standing around, I remember looking over and seeing these circle locks (above) and the Pepsi circles and the Subway circle (on the right side).  And I started making a few attempts at interpreting how those circles were hitting me so hard right then.  After a minute or two, my dad--in his usual joking manner--started poking fun at me.  "What are you doing?"  At the time, I couldn't really explain it, so I probably made some wisecrack remark in return.  But inside I knew that I was feeling something that, to me at least, felt profound and was trying to interpret what I saw/felt.

When I got home and loaded this and other photos from the day, I was pretty disappointed by this particular shot.  It didn't give me that same feeling that I had and the locks didn't come out as clear as they should have.

But now that I've given the reject pile a little light of day, I'm looking at this shot with new eyes.  Yes, it has it's problems.  But it has some things that are really going for it too--the circles, the reflections, the overall composition (I think, at least).

At any rate, seeing this photo this evening took me on a little trip back in time.  Back to a physical reality, but also back into an emotional memory.  All those questions that I've been asking myself lately ("Why does music matter?" or "What's the point of photography and art?") seemed to answer themselves yet again.

small, simple.

Being alone causes you to think more.  To ponder life more voraciously.  To talk out loud to God. 

My grandfather's passing has effected me in such a deep and penetrating way--realizing the frailties of life, appreciating family more than ever, earnestly trying to be less self-centered.  None of this 'stuff' that we crave is lasting.  How apparent it seems right now.  How much more fulfilling to concentrate on--and live, and live again--the things that truly matter.

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. 

-Henry David Thoreau

Solitude is perhaps the best teacher.  Solitude, and the death of a loved one.   

three year itch.

What might one do to head off the pangs of loneliness?  To occupy her hours of solitude?  To keep from crying the nights away that her traveling-musician-husband has only been away for a mere 2 out of 5 weeks?  How on earth can she possibly go on living?!

To start, she might redecorate the house a little bit....

She might get those creative juices flowing and try to satisfy her oft-neglected visual appetite.... might try to create a more welcoming and energetic space.

We're finishing out our third year in this same apartment and we've just renewed our lease for yet another year.  Needless to say, I wanted to put a little life--a little excitement--back into our space.

One thing down.  Now.... what to do, what to do....

learning to see.

in shades.

in values.

i'll start living in color again someday.

glare.

Fall is beautiful--both in color and black & white.

been busy.

Somewhere between starting a new part-time job and enrolling in my first-ever photography class, the pace of life has picked up dramatically over here.  No longer do I have those sacred mornings-afternoons to myself.  No more can I consider myself a completely free agent.

Having spent this past year solely teaching piano lessons in the evenings, I've gotten used to living slowly and adjusting my schedule according to my own wants and desires.  I had gotten used to mornings without the alarm.  Taking a leisurely walk before taking a shower.  Cooking a delicious breakfast every day and eating outside whilst reading a good book.  Talking to my mom every morning at 9:30am as she drove to work.

Those days are gone.

I'm in the midst of a small time of mourning.  Being a perfectionist is stressful when you're put into a completely new situation with completely new tasks for completely new people.  But I'm starting to get used to things and can hopefully feel really good about it.

Besides that, I just started a Black & White film photography class at the University of the Arts here in Philly.   I've been spending what little free time I now have shooting with the Holga 120N (though the above photo is digital).  I'm excited to get into the darkroom and to start learning about the whole film process.  It's going to be completely new territory and I can't wait to get into it!

So, here's to being busy.  Or making extra money.

Or to plastic cameras.

Or something.

window garden.

rainy day, poached eggs.

With dark and heavy clouds already looming in the skies as we rolled out of bed this morning, and with the promise of residual storms from Hurricane Irene to continue throughout the weekend, Christopher and I decided to make our way down to the farmer's market a little earlier than usual this morning.  As we reached in our pockets to purchase our last few items on the list, those raindrops we had been anticipating made their debut appearance, causing us to walk 5 blocks home in the pouring rain.  It was a beautiful start to the morning, believe it or not.  And it only got better when we arrived home and decided to make poached eggs for the first time ever.

Poached eggs have intimidated me for a while, but Christopher was all about trying it, so we gave it a go! We followed Thomas Keller's directions from ad hoc at home.  As you can see from the picture above, our first try was a success!  Woooo-oooooo!

Here's how to do it... should you want to do it:

Bring 6 to 8 inches of water to a boil in a large deep saucepan.  While you wait for water to boil, prepare an ice bath.  Add 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar to the boiling water and reduce the heat to a simmer.  Crack 1 egg into a small cup or bowl.  Using a wooden spoon, stir the water at the edges of the pan a few times to create a gentle whirlpool effect, then add the egg to the center of the pan.  Simmer gently for 1-1.5 minutes, or until the white is set but the yolk is still runny.  Taking a slotted spoon, carefully transfer the egg to the ice bath.  Skim and discard any foam from the top of the hot water.  Cook remaining eggs one at a time.

I just happened to bake some delicious gluten free bread yesterday, which was perfect for dipping. And, of course, we just always happen to have bacon from our local butcher!

To all you East Coasters out there, stay dry and let me know what you're cooking this weekend while you're stuck indoors!

Monday: what to do......

This is precisely how I feel today.

Where does today's path lead?

So much to do, but I can't seem to get myself started!

the difficulties with beautiful gifts.

Maybe it's just me, but sometimes it's difficult to bring oneself to the point of actually opening and using a gift for the first time.

Upon receiving a gift with such beautiful packaging as this, a common series of events often occurs: it starts with a gasp of excitement, proceeded by a moment or two spent marveling at it's artful packaging, followed by a warm exchanging of hugs with the gift giver.  After all this, you very intentionally place the gift on the dining room table or somewhere centrally located--a place you can pass by and admire it multiple times per day--a place which appropriately reflects and enhances it's visual beauty.

It's so beautifully packaged, in fact, that you forget that it's tea and that it actually has other uses besides looking pretty.

After weeks of looking at it, I've finally enjoyed my first cup this morning.

Thanks to my wonderful Mom-in-law!

saying goodbye.

Besides the photos a few days ago, it's been a while since I've updated you on the status of the kittens.  Now seems like the ideal time to fill you in on the goings ons, as we recently said our first goodbyes to two of our little ones.

When Momma Cat happened into our lives in May, we weren't exactly thrilled.  We were greeted (or chosen, shall we say) by a cat with a bulging tummy and, quite honestly, we weren't terribly excited about the prospect of having kittens.  Our negative perspectives changed, however, a few days later whilst the kittens arrived into the world.  Suddenly there were all these small, cute, mysterious little creatures with eyes closed and ears not yet opened.  What interesting little beings.

Watching them develop over the next few weeks was incredibly fascinating.  During the first four weeks of their lives, our jobs as humans were insanely easy.  We really didn't have to do anything besides feed the mom and clean the bedding every-other day.  Momma Cat took care of everything else herself, but we watched and celebrated as their eyes opened up, and later as they took their first daring steps out of the box.

Once we reached the four week point, that's when things really started to change.  Potty-training incurred, wet food became the new primary food source and the furniture became subject to anxious claws....  As the weeks progressed, I've done mass loads of laundry as some devilish culprit continues to pee on the couch and bathroom rug without witness.   It's been an interesting ride.

Last week, we discovered we actually had 2 boys--not just one, like we had thought.  Who knows how that flew under the radar for so long...

On Sunday, the kittens reached 10 weeks of age and we said goodbye to both boy kitties at once.  Our neighbor Caroline took one for herself, which she named "Keçi," which I believe is Turkish, meaning "Goat."  "Ned", the other boy kitty, is moving to Connecticut with Caroline's mom.  One by one, our little babies will be leaving us over the next few weeks.  There's one little girl without a promised home, which we're tenatively planning on keeping ourselves.

It's such a bittersweet time for us, having said our first good-byes.  Momma Cat has been meowing for her little boy kitties incessantly since they left.  Searching the house over and over.  Calling for them to come out of their hiding places.  I shed a few tears immediately after closing the door as Caroline carried Ned & Keçi out in their crates.  It feels like the house is a little emptier now without their crazy kitty personalities around.  Soon enough two more of them will be leaving us and I can only imagine how difficult that is going to be.  But, I'm truly happy that they're going to good homes with people who will love them and give them happy lives.

They grow up so fast, don't they.....